( U DROVE ME TO THIS SAM...... I NEED TO BLURT THIS STUFF OUT TO SOMEONE AND IF U WONT PICK UP THAT PHONE THIS GODFORSAKEN PIECE OF IMAGINARY CANVAS WILL HAVE TO RECORD ALL MY STUPID GIRL TALK)
OK.... soooo my family is a lill bit co-dependent ( translation: extremely needy band of closely nit histrionics who have amazing language skills but cant seem to understand le word PRIVACY) combine that with the first wedding in the family and u get the best, most confoosid, embarrassing, tiring, hanif rajput will blacklist us, chaklala mp thinks were terrorist, we probably are, amazing day ever....
Chronicles of first mate banana:
LCAT SUCKETH: i get up at six for that piece of crap LCAT which would rather think about the happiness of our gluteus maximuses versus shittiness of our vertebras then realising 20 bata 7= No good!!!!!!( ode to bad grammar and not just for the sake of hilarity)
STILL SUCKETH: i come back from said shitty excursion as a FARM FRESH TOMATO and two little demons come screaming out "LOOKING FOR COLOGNE FORGOT TO BUY PRESENT!!!!!"
THE BANASHING RITUAL BEGINS: middle demons says " HEHEEHEEE ACHU ABHI PHATI !!!!!" KABONG!!! ( 1st clobbering with the brush)"
FOOD FOOD FOOD: Ate lunch, started playing cards.... amma gives sir inayat a run for his money... ayesha say WHAAAAH??? but my back hurts ( stupid lums!)
HANIF RAJPUT SCREWS THINGS UP: Amma screams... khala screams..... mammo bellows (very masculine)... abba resembles father tomato ( genetics ppl)..... amma says their golden runners are the same colour as human waste ( the truth is not only karwa but also disgusting)
AYESHA TRIES TO GET READY: middle demon still does not realise that am a girl
" Dhug! Dhug! Dhug!.... ashu yar darwaza kyun locked hai "
"ANEEQ!!!! im getting ready!!!"
"oh..... darwaza kyun bandh hai? "
ok, ayesha tries to get ready take two
"AYESHA MERA BRUSH KYUN LEYA!!!!"
"ITS IN UR DRAWER AMMA"
"WHERE"
"DRAWER"
"IM TAKING UR BRUSH!!!!"
* ayesha removes brush from underneath amma's nose and places it in her hand* ( amma is presbyopic:P)
take three, middle demon:
"Hina appa undhar ai hain?"
" The doors locked u imbecile!"
NOTE: just realised making demon sound like a perv... demon is lill brother... demon wanted to get his grubby hands on ayesha's Sherlock Holmes collection
(several takes later)
AYESHA IS READY!!!!
ENTER PHOTOGRAPHER AKA HITLER: ( SAMMY I FINALLY MET UR SUPREME SENSEI )
"Smile pleesss....chin up... idhar murain....ankhain kholain... round ho jain"
*Shit! how did i end up posed as a ballerina....EVIL!!!!!*
Guests come: Ayesha smile... ayesha smiles again.... mera jabra dukh raha hai... i wonder how the Cheshire cat fealt...... sociopathic dentist has ayeshas face circled in his adda " SHE DIES NEXT!!!!"
WE HARASS UMAIR BHAI: ok... so ive finally learnt that we are a pretty loud, obnoxious, self absorbed bunch ov misfits (surprise surprise 18 and i find out the meaning of my existence).... anyways, while we were constantly interrupting him ( 5th time on my last count) one of the demons bellowed
"THOOK WALI AUNTIE KIDHAR?"
Ominous silence...... "scuzi?"
"U know the one who pointed at wagha border and said dehkho india hai... THOOKO!!!"
"uhhhh... Hi Auntie long time no see... aneeq iksney on the auntiek-ey "
(ANEEQ GOT WHOPPED AGAIN...... Ayesha punch hard..eh?)
NIKAH: Misty eyed ayesha next to practically bawling amma and khalla....... ansab with a camera saying smile pleeesss (KABONG!)
FOOOOODFOOODFOOOD: Aneeq turns Hina baji aka...dare i say it?...dulhan:P into his personal waiter.... "acha glass dain.... pepsi dalain.... wapis rakhain....wat? mein ne kya kiya?".... aneeq then gets up... anounces that he managed to get through a meal without spilling any food on himself or any one in a one mile radiu....turns around...collides into a waiter....... need i say more...God liketh Irony
WE ALL GO TATA BYE BYE:................................................. i got nothin
THE WHOPPING TO END ALL WHOPPINGS: Ayesha comes into her room.... three demons picking out all of the candy from bid which has to be circulated........ "KABONGKABONGKABONGKABONGKABONGKABONG" ( i just love my thapar brush... all the hurt with minimal force:P)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Demon number one: Ibrahim…. Age 4…… supreme evil diety….neck cant support his weight
Demon number two: Aneeq…age 16…. Mental capacity -12…. Forgot to wear shoes to school once because he was..quote “thinking”
Demon number three: Ansab… age 18…. Has a driver’s license since last Thursday……*JAWS THEME*
8 decided to snap:
tht was awesome!!! i revel in the mess tht be ur life!! muahahahaahaha! even though it aint even minutely related to the supahero theme :p the same day u were exhorting ur broz to stay out of ur room (pervz :p hehe sorry cudnt resist) i was trying to remain unseen in my own cousin's wedding, needless to say i was discovered trying to shoo off a couple of mangy 6 year olds with a broom! (they were trying to feed me a wierd concoction of sprite, pepsi and rohafza under the guise of PAKOLA!!!! :'( exploiting my weakness those brats!)
on the whole i luved it though i dint knw if it fits here :p
ashu i KEEL U!!
u were WRONG bout banana republic..
coming to the post.. its hillarious... but sadly u told me the entire story in 45 minutes over the phone (which was repeatedly hung up =p) STILL FUNNY.!!(specially the end)
okay herez the thing, lil bogger has been making me do these stupid (yet rib cracking funny) quizzes on facebook and now my entire face is cramped (though thankfully its not making any tomatoes blush) and ur post made me cry cuz it hurt laughing... yea life is pretty much supid right now... =p
luved ur work, lil quadratic Querida (yea iam stoned... no need to ask =p)
@loser yco who cannot be a suppahero or a suppa villian....just a suppa toe rag:P
Hey!!! this was a situation when u really need a suppahero.... besides i was el kabong...or do u also have pres byopia
:P the only other option was the dabba diaries for which sam was very pro
@sammy i wasnt they have awesome khakis.... and u dank pepsi didnt u ooooooooooo i is gonna tell
lol.. i think this hurts my nose!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHa really funny bt dat wasnt a lil exaggeration...hyquite a lot of !!!!
no comments :)
Hilarious, actually. And btw nice blog template. :)
haha... chalo atleast sm1 likes the template...
take THAT FAHAD AND AYESHA!!
BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Post a Comment